I do not know why, but my mother never looked at me directly. My study of child development in college convinced me that we had never bonded. "The shame involved in being an adult who suffered from the results of inadequate attachment always made me fearful of exposure. It was my deepest, darkest, well-hidden secret. Working through these issues in therapy was a long and complicated process and required more in-depth work than the healing of the trauma. The field of psychiatry, by not identifying a specific diagnosis of adult attachment disorder often treats the symptoms (with medications) without recognizing or healing the source.
My lifelong professional interest in the role of attachment in a child’s development has now become an informed passion emerging from the deepest parts of my being. Adequate attachment with a mother or other significant caregiver is, in my mind, the single greatest precursor to adult mental health and the prevention and/or healing from early childhood trauma. In a tragic sense I was an attention-seeking child and it led to my abuse. Perpetrators look for children who need attention. Children with secure attachment bonds are less likely to fall prey to the grooming techniques of perpetrators." Breaking Free to Mission ~ Janyne
"We need to heal our own childhood wounds in order to be emotionally present for the children in our lives." Breaking Free to Mission ~ Janyne
It is vitally important to understand the effects of inadequate attachment now being revealed through brain research. Read and be informed! Supporting mothers in ways that encourage emotional bonding is important!
This journal article is an excellent summary of the developing research on the role of attachment! It underscores the importance of the first three years of life!