All information and resources at this website have been presented as part of my personal story and does not replace professional psychological care for mental health issues. The only legal and ethical advice I can offer is to seek professional help. 

If you have had or are having suicidal thoughts, please call: 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 

1-800-273-8255

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© 2017 by Janyne McConnaughey.                                                                                         

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January 16, 2019

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WHO AM I ?

I am Dr. Janyne McConnaughey, retired educator, wife, mother and grandmother. I have a story. My story is one I repressed until two years ago when I chose to sit on a therapist's couch. Now healed, I am on a mission!

 

My mission is to clearly articulate both positive and negative effects of early nurturing and experiences on lifelong behavior and thinking patterns while promoting effective educational, spiritual, and therapeutic methods for the healing of inadequate attachment and childhood traumas.

I love California beaches, and the City of Seattle, but live in a 5th wheel with my husband, Scott, at the foot of Pikes Peak. 

I have served in churches and church-related ministries in two denominations that believed very differently about the roles of women in ministry. I have friends who support ordaining women and those who do not. In the light of a recent interview of a prominent church leader, I am going to do my best to make this point: I respect your right to have differing views on ordaining women, but differing views are not the root cause of the recent disparaging comments about one woman. Agreement is not a prerequisite for respect.

When children are traumatized there are always results.This is a well documented and researched truth. The brain scans of those who have been traumatized as small children are different than those children who have been in nurturing safe environments. There is no disputing the fact that these children's brains are being restructured by the trauma caused by our nation's policies. We are not responsible for what happened before they reached us, but we are responsible for what is happening to them now--no matter what we think about how they got here.

Let us look deeply inside the children in our lives. The “me” I described in the above paragraph was overlooked and lost in all my survival strategies. I am on a treasure hunt to help my granddaughter find and love her true self before the pull of being like everyone else leads her to a life that wasn’t hers to live. She is the only one who can find the self she was created to be, but only an adult can provide the courage she needs to find and accept it. This young generation needs us to be authentic. Many of us have hidden who we are for far too long.

There are lots of us who can’t ask for what we need or want. We have stories that caused this and it affects us in relationships and other humans and with God. Our fear of the shame that we internalized in the process of learning not to ask affects us in so many ways.

We can’t fully help others without addressing the deep impact of mental health in our homes, churches, schools, and communities. Simply addressing the spiritual doesn’t address the physical and mental pain caused by trauma. Our generation has been gifted with an understanding of how the body and brain get wired by trauma—and how it can be healed and rewired. We need to remove the stigma surrounding mental illness so people can feel safe in accessing help.

I found the book to be engaging, thoughtful, and was profoundly excited to find a book that placed the answers to prayers not in a superhuman god who sometimes chose to reach down and stop human suffering, Instead, the power of God can be seen in humans who truly live out God's love in the lives of other humans. My story is both a tragedy and a miracle because of human choices--for evil or for good. My prayer was a great fit for this book! It is a call to action that will achieve so much more than prayers that depend on God to step in and care for the brokenhearted.

It wasn’t just that the Wise Men came and worshipped. They did something much more important than that. They listened to what God communicated in a dream and went home another way. They protected Jesus.

The whole scenario reminds me of my favorite Aesop’s fable—paraphrased. The sun and the wind had a conversation about a man sitting on a bench wrapped in a coat. They decided to have a contest to see who could get the man to remove his coat first. The wind was very powerful and claimed victory before beginning to blow, but the harder the wind blew, the tighter the man clung to his coat. Then the sun stepped in and began to glow its warmth down on the man. It wasn’t but a few minutes before the man removed his coat.

What if the trauma outweighs the goodness of God? It is easy to think that is a spiritual problem, but does a child (or adult) who prays for protection but doesn’t receive it have a spiritual problem? We can tell our subconscious self that God is good all the time, but our life experiences often tell another story. Our subconscious feels in danger with or without God.

Instead of fearing tomorrow, delight in today. It has been a long road to accomplishing this because I trained myself to be prepared for any possibility and catastrophic thinking was my companion. I couldn’t plan a trip without thinking a car would crash or a plane would fall from the sky. Might it happen? Possibly, but it really had nothing to do with the day in which I was living.

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