All information and resources at this website have been presented as part of my personal story and does not replace professional psychological care for mental health issues. The only legal and ethical advice I can offer is to seek professional help. 

If you have had or are having suicidal thoughts, please call: 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 

1-800-273-8255

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© 2017 by Janyne McConnaughey.                                                                                         

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January 16, 2019

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WHO AM I ?

I am Dr. Janyne McConnaughey, retired educator, wife, mother and grandmother. I have a story. My story is one I repressed until two years ago when I chose to sit on a therapist's couch. Now healed, I am on a mission!

 

My mission is to clearly articulate both positive and negative effects of early nurturing and experiences on lifelong behavior and thinking patterns while promoting effective educational, spiritual, and therapeutic methods for the healing of inadequate attachment and childhood traumas.

I love California beaches, and the City of Seattle, but live in a 5th wheel with my husband, Scott, at the foot of Pikes Peak. 

We eventually began to talk about the end of the flight, how far we had to go before we slept, who was waiting there, and so forth. She mentioned how hard it was when she arrived home from trips, because her toddler son was usually not receptive to her arrival. While she loved her job, this was wearing on her.

Let us look deeply inside the children in our lives. The “me” I described in the above paragraph was overlooked and lost in all my survival strategies. I am on a treasure hunt to help my granddaughter find and love her true self before the pull of being like everyone else leads her to a life that wasn’t hers to live. She is the only one who can find the self she was created to be, but only an adult can provide the courage she needs to find and accept it. This young generation needs us to be authentic. Many of us have hidden who we are for far too long.

There are lots of us who can’t ask for what we need or want. We have stories that caused this and it affects us in relationships and other humans and with God. Our fear of the shame that we internalized in the process of learning not to ask affects us in so many ways.

Jeannie, the resourceful and resilient child self of author Janyne McConnaughey takes center stage in this companion book to BRAVE: A personal Story of Healing Childhood Trauma. This second psychological memoir offers a literary adventure bringing insights into both child behavior and paths to healing. The author uses parts of her own story, her early-childhood expertise, storytelling ability, and the creative interweaving of her beloved childhood books to provide a lens for viewing behaviors of all children - but especially those who have suffered attachment wounding and trauma.

We often stop ourselves and the children in our lives from doing everything necessary for the body to heal from trauma. We stop our tears, we stop our physical outbursts, we stop our shaking, and we stop our voices from ever telling our truth. We bury our pain so deeply that it affects us for a lifetime.

I don’t want to dwell there either, but I find the populace in general to be very much lacking in an understanding of the effects of not having attachment needs met. It is as if God created a special place in the soul of a child in which, it was intended for the mother to grow a garden full of every type and hue of flower, but instead it was left untended and resembled something much more like a vacant city lot with a solid but broken fence surrounding it.

Listen to the children. Talk to the children. Follow the clues they leave to their faulty connections. Help them be free to live the lives they were intended to live. Every one of us can change the world one child at a time.

Not only was I telling my story to the world, but I was also was putting it in printed form. My fear of being corrected was well founded since my mother used to send my letters back to me with the errors circled. Seriously. Do. Not. Do. That. To. Your. Children. I am sure that in some form, she thought she was helping me to be a better writer.

Jeannie was and is tenacious, but I don’t think there is really anything inside me that is not available to every human being. We are born to live. Life may have beaten this part of us to a pulp, but deep down, that determination to live life is still there (or we wouldn’t be here). Inside each of us is a tenacious inner child. Sometimes the way this child learned to survive is not healthy.

My daughter and I were sitting beside the pool playing a card game. My granddaughter was swimming with a newfound friend about her age. Off in the distance, we heard the distinct music of an ice cream truck approaching. We stared at each other as we heard the girls in the pool reacting to the music. “Oh! It’s an ice cream truck!” the friend exclaimed. “My mother never buys us ice cream from the ice cream truck,” my granddaughter answered. I looked at my daughter, “Is that true? You have never brought them ice cream from the ice cream truck?” It was kind of funny because we knew why, but then it wasn’t funny at all.

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