Janyne the Storyteller...
Storytelling is what I do. It is what I have always done. Some children make up stories to hide the truth of what they did. I made up stories to hide the truth of what others did to me. Totally different thing. My stories were so believable and brave that they even convinced me. I also wove the stories of my childhood into my attempts at making sense of those things that can never make sense to anyone, let alone a child. Then I taught Children's Literature for thirty-three years. My lapses into literature and fantasy have a long history.
I am also a writer. I did many things wonderful things in my life, but writing was the only thing I ever really longed to do. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I wrote as a course developer, I wrote speeches, I wrote poems, I wrote lengthy emails, and finally I wrote books--entire books. I was almost published once, but I am ever so grateful I wasn't because I had no idea what my story actually was. The title, Waiting for a Brain Transplant, amuses me because I subconsciously must have understood that my brain was working way too hard to live! The introduction was a dream and it is so delightful, I am making it available here. Now that I know my story, it is worth reworking.
Then I wrote a book about my family's years in the 4Generation House. I will always treasure those years in that great big house on the golf course. We have wonderful memories--but the strain probably started me down the path to The Couch.
Then, the book upon which this website was originally built. It is conceptually all there but I cringe because it was my final attempt to live above the pain--the feelings. I Think. I Can. was my last ditch effort to suppress my feelings! I believe it can now be rewritten as: I Feel. I Think. I Can. It isn't nearly as catchy but it is what it should be.
I also wrote several blog posts based on the concept of I Think I Can. I have left them at the blog as a snapshot. I say great things in those blogs, but I was definitely avoiding the pain of my feelings!
And now. My story. It is no wonder I tried to avoid my feelings! They were all frozen in small traumatized children. Now healed, my story holds such value. I finally understand what it is that I was created to do--to be the storyteller! Now I can tell the truth of my own story for the purpose of encouraging others to heal their stories.
Janyne, the Storyteller, is finally doing what she was born to do. I could have never imagined my writing would be traveling around the world. It is a great adventure. BRAVE certainly has wings!